For the imperfect Fashion lover.

Sunday, 17 June 2018

How to Accept the Fact You're Getting Older | LINK UP

How to Accept the Fact You're getting older | Fake Fabulous

Getting older.
If you're lucky, it's part of life.
And there's nothing we can do about it.

(Despite what cosmetic brands tell us!)

Age doesn't care how rich you are or how much time you have on your hands... it's coming for you!

More on that later.

Unfortunately, modern culture means we are bombarded with images of youth.
Even products marketed at older women are modelled by young girls.
We are told that youth is beautiful and age is somehow ugly.

We are often told to cover up and stop making a 'show' of ourselves.
Age is pitied.

Well, frankly, I say...

"Bollocks to that!"

I'm getting older and I'm not ready to throw in the towel on life.

The mirror reminds me that I'm 44 every day and no amount of positive thinking (or embracing my age) will make me like my eye bags, age spots and wrinkly eyelids.

But, just because I don't like these signs of ageing doesn't mean that I haven't accepted them... and ultimately myself.

Accepting the fact you're getting older is the ONLY way to be happy.


Acceptance is certainly NOT a passive emotion!!
It's definitely not a case of putting up with anything or giving up.

"Oh, well... I'm over 40. Why bother trying to look nice?"

Stop that!

{Much like the "I'll wear something nice when I've lost the weight" way of thinking... read more about that HERE}

1. Give yourself a break and keep up!

Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
You're not 21 anymore but that doesn't mean you can't do what you want.
You can still make an effort with your appearance and look nice, if you want to.

Being older does not mean you have to give up on fashion and beauty trends.
In fact, now it a perfect time to enjoy them.
With age comes confidence and less interest in other people's opinions!

You'll probably need to accept that the dream of being a prima ballerina may need to be shelved, BUT there are plenty more fun things to be doing.

Keeping up-to-date with current affairs, art, science, film, tv, music and technology (or whatever floats your boat) is the perfect way to stay interesting.

2. Forget Denial

Forget about burying your head in the sand and pretending you're younger than you are.
You're not fooling anyone!

Even if you've got the time (money and inclination) to inject things into your face or undergo cosmetic procedures, proceed with caution.
Plastic surgery can be addictive.
'Smoothing out' one area can highlight 'problems' in another.
Do you really want to head down the road of nipping and tucking?

At the end of the day, you won't actually look younger.

(Sorry to burst that bubble)

You'll just look like an older woman that's had some work done.
Or worse... like a Micky Rourke/Melanie Griffith... shudder.

What's wrong with the way you look anyway?

Once you've accepted that fact you'll feel empowered.

Being real, authentic and believable is much more attractive.
Be proud of who you are and how far you've come.

3. Stop Living in the Past

Banging on about how you used to be slim/a great dancer/able to do the box splits (hehehe, that last one is me!) is BORING.
Focus on what you can do here and now.

If you don't have an interest or hobby, GET ONE and quick!
Nothing is as dull as someone constantly reminiscing about how interesting their life USED to be.... zzz zzz zzz.

Of course, tales of your past exploits as a go-go dancer are incredibly interesting, in the right context!

{Context being sharing a bottle of wine with friends!}

Embrace the past but don't live in it.

Instead of harping back to "your day" make TODAY your day!

4. Don't put Life on Hold

Waiting for that 10 pounds to drop off your butt, or your new anti-wrinkle regime to kick in is wasting valuable time.
Make the most of NOW.
The harsh reality is that "In 10 years" might never come.
We never know what's around the corner.

5. Stop worrying about 'Not Being Attractive'

Contrary to what popular culture might tell us, men can also find older women attractive too.

Apparently men DON'T only fancy young women!
Who knew?!

Joking aside, we all know that any strong and confident woman is sexy, older or not.
Oh yes indeed!

What is your opinion on this?
Have you accepted the fact you're getting older?
Do you have any tips to share?

I'd love to hear them!

Last week Jess almost gave me whiplash with this vibrant summer look.
Fabulous and bold.
She proves that redheads can look AMAZING in yellow... I'm trying to overlook the fact that Jess looks pretty amazing in everything.
See her full post HERE.



  1. Getting old sucks - but it's better than the alternative! Staying healthy and fit is the most important thing. Wrinkles are badges of honour :-)

    1. Yes Gail... I totally agree with the fact staying healthy and fit is the answer.
      My friend was telling me she had her Aunt over for tea the other day and her Aunt was demonstrating the yoga move "Bird in a basket" at 85!!! Hahahaha... fit as a fiddle!

  2. Ah.. the acceptance thing. That's harder than it looks, and a finer line to walk than it seems. Some days, at 62, I say who cares about a number, I still look good in my jeans even if they're bigger than they were twenty years ago. Other days not so much. It's a battle. But you're right...staying current, learning new stuff, travelling, reading, studying something, anything, can help. And is way more fun that a hammock or a rocking chair. Unless the hammock is enjoyed with a glass of wine in hand at the end of a long bike ride. Then I've earned my hammock time:)

    1. It's hard Susan, for sure!
      I sometimes mourn my perfect skin and effort-free hair... but not for long... life needs living! :oP

  3. This is exactly the message I was trying to say in my last post!!

    1. I missed that Jodie.... I'll pop over for a read! XXX

    2. Brilliant Jodie!
      We (as bloggers) tend to periodically send out these messages of acceptance, confidence, self-love ... and getting "dressed"!
      I think we hope that we can maybe encourage someone out there to have more fun with fashion/style/makeup?
      Maybe be a little kinder to themselves?
      I feel like if one person gives it a go then I've achieved great things! :o)

  4. I'm so eager to reach (semi)retirement age, I don't care WHAT I look like, as long as I can stop working full-time and spend more time doing things I enjoy! To me, that is definitely a perk of "old age" that overrides all the other things.


    1. Hahahaha... very true Bettye!
      That "Who gives a toss what you think?" attitude is liberating.

  5. The older I get, the less I care. What others think and say that is!

  6. I agree with Gail - ageing is an honour many wonderful women have been denied. It doesn't mean it isn't a challenge. After all marketing messages have been fairly consistent against ageing and mud sticks. But like you Samantha I'm so bored with hearing it. So, yes, I have my insecurities, but does it stop me glamming up and getting out? - hell no! xx Maria

    1. I'm glad to hear it Maria!
      We all have our issues to deal with but I think we hide it well :oP

  7. I agree with all the comments that ageing is a privilege. Style-wise, I am far more assured now than I was in my 20s and 30s and far freer. That doesn't stop me getting the collywobbles when I inspect my encroaching turkey neck... I am 48 next month, and the proximity of 50 has, if I am honest, winded me. But attractiveness has so much more to do with attitude and staying vibrant, so those are my aspirations, to focus on efforts to feel fabulous and fulfilled.

    1. I hear you loud and clear Rozanne... what is the turkey neck thing all about? It's not fair!

  8. this is one of the best posts I've read in a long time. Everything you said was spot on. TFS!

  9. I won't lie and say that I've accepted the whole aging thing with grace. Oh no, I hate it! But it is what it is and I am not going to change who I am or how I dress because of age. I can't imagine that a time will ever come when I simply "give up"...what fun is that?!

    1. I don't plan to be be giving up either Debbie, and as much as I hate the signs of getting older I love the getting older bit!! XXX

  10. I totally agree with you on every count! I still feel 18!, but obviously dress accordingly, and accept the wrinkles et. One thing I'm still not ready to embrace my grey, but who knows in the future might feel different! Thanks for sharing and hosting the linkup. Jacqui Mummabstylish

    1. I'm much older than you Jacqui.... at 25!! :oP
      I agree about the wrinkly bits AND the grey...I'm trying but I 'm not ready yet!

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  12. Great post again! I have to tell you this silly story 44 years old I feel amazing and just last night I went to a local pub for the live music and I got hit on by a 23 year old! Yep, you read that right. 23. So that certainly boosted my old ego! Ha. It’s all about the person inside! And older women are sexy to younger I just experienced. When I told him I was married, he responded, “Oh Shelbee, you’re breaking my heart!” Ha.


  13. I work with people of all ages, from very early 20s to over 60s, and I just don't think about my age at all around them. I just assume everyone is around the same age, ha! I so agree with many of your points, Samantha. I dress for ME, for how I feel, and I wear what feels good and what I like, when I like.

    I met up with a blog reader yesterday, who thanked me for inspiring her to dress up more - knowing we can influence other women to the positive, to be out there, to TRY and not give up just because of some number...that's the best.

    Thank you for the link-up! I'll be along shortly.

    1. I agree Sheila!!
      I don't think about people as 'ages' just people I get on with who are fun to be around and people who I don't and aren't! :oP

  14. Great Post!! You are only as young as you Feel. At 66 I still enjoy clubbing and getting dressed up when I want to. As much as I do not like make-up I try to wear it on special occasions to cover age & sun damage spots. I feel vibrant at this age and you can find me out & about with sunscreen and a lippie.

    1. Oh I love dancing too and would be at the clubs if they weren't full of my children's friends! Hahahahaha
      Makeup is something else I love more and more as I get older.
      I think and older face really benefits from some depth and colour PLUS we can do what we want, experiment and have fun without anyone batting an eyelid :oP

  15. I'll be 69 this August and sadly inherited my Dads brow and My kids and others were constantly asking me if I was sad or angry!! So I have a wonderful friend of the family's dentist daughter hit me up with Botox!! I love it I don't look mad or sad anymore , neither do I look frozen faced. Go to the gym, eat organically and wear whatever calls my name, a lot of jeans and colorful t-shirts etc! Thanks for the great post as always! Clear from the Pacific Northwest USA!!!xx

    1. Oh I hear you Mary!
      I have my dad's 11's but I'm not going to botox... it is not my bag, I wear a frownie at night instead. Not as effective but less toxic :OP
      Yes to eating well (most of the time)
      Yes to the gym!
      And a BIG yes to wearing what calls our name!! XXX

  16. I'm really not bothered about my age, but I do want to do everything I can to look after myself and not look haggard and saggy. I see nothing wrong with botox, fillers and cosmetic surgery as long as it's properly researched. If that's what makes someone feel more confident, then why not? But pillow faces and trout pouts don't look good on anyone!

    Emma xxx

    1. Pillow faces... hahahahaha... so funny Emma.
      I say each to their own BUT as a scientist I just can't inject things into my own face.
      Not for me!
      However, other people can do what they like as long as they are happy.

  17. Yes, Yes and Yes! I love this post. I'm 55 and try to look my best! I love fashion and I wear what I like...I do yoga and lift weights and try to eat the healthiest food possible. I love life, even though it is hard at times. Getting older is part of life and I feel fortunate to wake up every day feeling good.

    1. Gosh Suzanne, you sound like me!
      Yoga, weights, fashion, healthy food (most of the time) and loving life with all it's ups and (many) downs.
      There is nothing else for it really is there?!

  18. I always say that not everyone has the privilege of getting old so we should embrace it and enjoy it to the full! I'm only of those people that loves having birthdays because it reminds me that I'm one of the lucky ones!
    Great post, Sam!
    Suzy xx

    1. Hahahaha... me too Suzy!
      I'm proud as punch to be older... like a wee kid who says "I'm 4! I'm a big girl!"... "I'm 44.... I'm a big girl!!"

  19. There are those times when physically feel and totally own every one of my 66 years and days I feel great, have extra stamina and feel very lucky to be thriving! Energy fluctuation and aches and pains can have a big impact on the tone of each day. Being grateful for my authentic and current self helps to build confidence to move forward while building optimism for living fully as ME.

    1. You're right there Jude!
      Daily fluctuations can make a huge impact on mood and attitude... that's one thing the young don't have to worry about.
      BUT... when we're firing on all cylinders we're unstoppable!

  20. Excuse my Anglo-Saxon, but f*ck all this fear of getting older. When one of my grannies was my age, 52, she was one year away from death. She would loved to have gotten to know her grandchildren and maybe seen out her days in her native Ireland. Getting older is a privilege for many. For me, it's all about eating well and keeping active. Yoga every day is seeing me through.

    I've certainly been through that lying about your age nonsense. My mum used to pretend to be 38 when she was actually ten years older (which made it awkward for me, seeing she was 18 when she had me!). One day my younger sister suggested she just tell the truth because it was more impressive. And one I turned 50 I decided the same.

    Besides, you can always guess people's ages. Once I mention how I still kick myself for not seeing The Clash when I had the chance, I've had it! ��

    As for men on my wanting much younger women... not so sure about that. My lovely partner was once out with his newly-separated, rather immature pal one evening, who suggested they go and chat up a couple of girls at the bar. He must have cringed when Stephen said "Go and chase yourself! I've got a daughter that age." He said he'd rather have a partner around his age who'd seen The Clash (or nearly did).

    1. Ooops, forgot to tick 'notify me'.

    2. Hehehehehe... I agree with your Anglo-Saxon sentiments Emerald!
      And I also agree that as soon as you start a conversation about music (or any passion) you can tell how old a person is... unless they're very boring and have never had a passion! LOL
      I love your comment and smiled all the way through it... your younger sister was spot on!
      Your partner's friend sounds like a bit of a dick (pardon my Anglo-Saxon now?) maybe he was at the magic-mirror stage of his breakup?
      Those girls would have laughed out loud!
      I find younger men a bit cringe, even if they're very handsome and eloquent... they always remind me of silly wee boys.
      It makes me laugh.
      I feel your pain when it comes to as missed band opportunity.
      I missed seeing the Red Hot Chilli Peppers when they were small enough not to be a stupid-expensive dot on a massive stage ... stupidly thinking being pregnant mean't I couldn't go.
      I was (and still am) a bit of a mosh-pit girl and didn't want to miss out on all of the bruises!! :oP
      ... I really regret that one!!

  21. I am so grateful that I found you as I am going on holiday to Spain soon with my friend who is 66 years old like me and she likes to go to the beach and go swimming I am dreading it because I have scars all over my arms and legs because of getting bit by a spider 4 years ago I am pretty slim but with all the wrinkly bits etc etc It would really help me to get over my dread about going to the beach in my swimsuit it really is bothering me at the moment my friend on the other hand says this is it accept it and get on with it but Im still in fear


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