Fun with Fashion

Tuesday, 3 April 2018

Stop Weight Shaming | Why it's Okay to Want to Gain Weight as Well as Lose it

Stop weight shaming | Fake Fabulous

It's very wet (and bitterly cold) today so fashion photos are out of the picture (pardon the pun) and cosy joggers are the order of the day!

However, I've turned this to my advantage because I've got the chance to make a start on a new project that's been neglected.

I had planned to start a "Health and Fitness" series a while back, and today's weather is the perfect opportunity to make a start!


I'm going to go straight in and tell you a secret...


Stop weight shaming | Fake Fabulous

I have weight goals (and body issues) and some people may not like them...

Some may even say I should sit down and shut my mouth.
Or, worse!
{More on that later}

Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it...

I've been at the skinny end of slim my whole life and now I'm in my 40's I'm trying to gain weight.
I'm trying to put on some pounds and get curvier, rounder, stronger and generally healthier.
I want some flesh on my bones to fall back on in later life.

Not that I'm saying being slim isn't healthy, it can be.
Nor am I saying that being heavier is healthy, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

It's just I want to be heavier.
That's all.

Stop weight shaming | Fake Fabulous

I know that the fact I'm trying to GAIN weight is an annoying topic for some.
Even just talking about gaining weight can cause a lot of eye rolling and even a serious ruckus!

The mere mention of a gained pound has been known to evoke reactions as strong as ...

"Oh, F**k off Sam, you skinny bit*h! What do you know about anything?!"

Oop...
That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

Now, I completely understand that weight can be a touchy subject for lots of people.

Many of us are trying to lose it.
Some of us lie about it.
There are even those of us who obsess about it and talk/think about little else.
Some people even have their life on hold, waiting to reach their 'Target'.

However, just because my weight goals may be different from another person's does not make them any less valid.
No one should be weight shamed, regardless of their shape or size.

Everyone's weight goals and body issues are equally valid


Gaining (healthy) weight can be as much of a challange as losing it.

And anyway, why should I have to listen to hours and hours of diet talk, celebrating every lost pound, when the mere mention of a hard-earned gained pound is shot down in flames?

Don't get me wrong here people.
I don't get upset or hurt when told to F-off.

In fact, on that occasion, I laughed out loud!
{It was a close friend letting rip and she has her own weight and (serious) food issues to deal with, so I was not upset.}

BUT...
Her comments did make me think how important it is for us all to remember that one person's goals and/or issues are just as important as the next person's.

Whether or not you want to lose weight, gain weight, or maintain your weight... that's your choice and you are entitled to make it!

No one deserves to be weight-shamed

Just as you would congratulate a dieting friend for losing a few pounds, you should also congratulate a friend for gaining one or two... if that's their goal!

Stop weight shaming | Fake Fabulous

Luckily not all of my friends are in the "Get stuffed" camp!
I'm very lucky to have my (gym) buddies, each with their own goals and issues.

{That's not us in the photo above! 😝}

We're fortunate to have the support of each other.
Someone to cheer us on, regardless of their own standpoint.

As far as my weight is concerned?
I'm getting there!

Lifting weights and doing cardio has given me an extra 6lb (so far) and I'm only 2lb away from my goal.
(It's hard to add weight when your body sheds it so quickly.)

I want that curvy beach body in time for the summer and I'm determined to eat and exercise my way to it!

Stop weight shaming | Fake Fabulous

Please let me know your thoughts on this (potentially) touchy subject...

Have you ever felt weight-shamed?

Have you been dealing with weight issues your whole life?
Or, is your current concern more recent?

Do you want to make some changes to your lifestyle?
Or, are you happy and healthy?

Please share your story.
I'd love to hear it!
Please leave me a comment, or drop me an email and have your say.

I'm planning some further fitness posts and hope to be joined by some inspirational older women (just wait and see!), as well as fitness experts.
It's an exciting time and I've got everything crossed that it works out.

{Don't worry though, there'll be no sponsored content or hard-sell of products and services... that's not my style!
Read all about that HERE}

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13 comments

  1. I understand your thoughts about weight gaining. And, you're right, no one should be shamed whether they are trying to gain, maintain or lose weight. For many years, I could eat what I wanted and not worry about weight gain. In my 50's however, that has changed and I struggle to not gain too much weight. It certainly puts a damper on my enjoyment of food, especially sweets, which I love! My goal, is to stay healthy and to age gracefully without putting on lots of excess pounds. But, I refuse to never enjoy foods I love! So, it is a bit of a struggle. Thanks for a great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with your ethos of ageing gracefully while enjoying the food you love.
      Life would be pretty miserable without good food!
      As I've gotten older I do find that (without exercise) extra pounds seem to like my tummy rather than the other bits I'd prefer them to be attaching to! :oP
      XXX

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  2. I totally understand your story Samantha, I have two sisters whose weights yo-yo and tend to go under the recommended weight for their height, and they try to put on weight too. And I also understand why you think people would find it hard to swallow a story about an attempt to gain weight, because generally more people struggle to LOSE it. (PS: I'm trying to lose a little weight myself because I don't feel good about the state of health of my body, but I also wouldn't mind fitting into my jeans a little better!)

    I don't believe in weight-shaming either. It puts me off when I hear a woman saying things like "Look at those big hips and thighs!" or "Ugh her ribs are protruding, she needs some meat on her." They're such unnecessary comments! Some people unfortunately just have little to no control over their weight.

    At the end of the day whether you agree or disagree with what someone is trying to do with their body, unless it's harmful to their health, it's none of our business, is it? Anyway I hope you get to your body weight goal!

    xo, Liyana | Affordorable

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this fab comment Liyana.
      I think people do judge and pass comment on others for lots of reasons including their size!
      Unfortunately, for some reason, some people seem to think it's okay to make "skinny" comments to the person directly, as if that's helping the situation.
      "Go and eat a pie!".... lol.... despite having just eaten a large pie, plus chips and probably a pudding of some sort.
      Any bitchy comments are unacceptable really aren't they?
      Send my love and support to your sisters... and to you, while you're trying to make your jeans a little more comfy!
      XXX

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  3. I totally agree on 'stop weight shaming', I think we should accept that there are people who want to gain some weight (not only to lose it). Everybody want to be stronger and healthier and that's something we could support each other to achieve.
    I'm always trying to not gain weight and it's becoming difficult as I age!. Sometimes I fail, but don't give up!.
    besos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whichever side of the fence you're on it seems to be a bit of a battle after "a certain age".
      We tend to need to work a little harder to maintain how we want to look.
      Some people can pile on weight and lose their waist.
      Some people go really scrawny and 'old' looking.
      We keep trying though, don't we?
      XXX

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  4. Sigh. Why does "judging" seem to be so much a part of human nature?? Ha, there *I* am, JUDGING human nature! Ha, it's almost impossible to escape it!

    What's that quote about...wait, let me look it up...here -> "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." (I always thought it should go in the other order...guh, there I go, judging again). Anyway, the point is, why does *anyone* ever have to say anything about *anyone*? I realize I'm taking this to a larger perspective than just weight/body shape, but really. Sometimes I try to go a day without making a comment on anyone about anything...and I consider myself a pretty kind and non-judgemental person...and still I find it really challenging.

    Man, I have REALLY gone off-topic here, sorry! My point is yeah - everyone has their own stuff. How they'd like to be, struggles they have, etc. Let's just be mindful of that and accepting of everyone as they are and how they want to be.

    Man, who wound me up this morning?? OH - I had a Real Breakfast this morning - with protein and everything :-) Apparently THAT is a mistake!

    Shutting up now...

    Bettye
    https://fashionschlub

    PS - wishing you success in being HOWEVER YOU WANT TO BE :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gosh Bettye... I really enjoy you comments!
      Thank you so much for another great one.

      You're on the money here... not off-topic at all.

      We're ALL guilty of judging even if we don't intend to, it's just human nature.
      We make judgements every day about everyone we meet/come into contact with.
      Using past experiences to form opinions and it's okay because it helps us process events and gives us that all-important "gut feeling" about things.

      It only goes wrong when people make a judgement then close their minds to that person/event/moment.

      Trying to keep open minded and putting myself (mentally) in other people's shoes is something I try really hard to do... failing more often than I'd like to admit.

      As my youngest said to me (when she was tiny)..." Why can't everyone just be kind to each other (and all the animals)? The world would be happy then."

      Yep.... nail and head spring to mind.

      Who's off topic now??!!! :oP
      XXX

      Delete
  5. It's so true.....I just lost weight during menopause (unexpectedly) so I can very much relate. It's hard either way...
    XOXO
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gosh Jodie!
      I was surprised to read that.
      I know the menopause has so many possibilities.
      My friends have commented on joint pain, bigger boobs, hair loss, hair gain, weight gain, weight loss on the arms and legs... loads of different symptoms.
      It makes my mind boggle!
      While others have sailed through without a hiccup.
      Who knows what's around the corner for any of us!
      Thank you for sharing your story.
      XXX

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    2. Great post! I am always trying to feel strong and fit after some health problems the last few years. I want to tighten up my core and lose five pounds. Meanwhile my mom and sister are both doing karate and special diets to add density and strength to their frames because they tend to weigh below their goal weight. It is personal for each woman. Good luck.

      Delete
    3. You're right!
      Each person is unique and we should be supporting each other's goal and celebrating our achievements... however different they are.
      Good luck with your 5 pounds and your mum and sister too!
      XXX

      Delete
  6. I applaud you for wanting to be strong and fit. Muscle adds healthy weight and be prepared to look thinner but more fit! Our bodies are pretty much our own business but staying healthy is something we should all do.

    ReplyDelete

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