How to Overcome Fear...in Electric Blue!

I recently read in a glossy magazine that fashion bloggers are assumed to be narcissists.
At best, brimming with confidence... At worst, arrogance.
Unapologetic, self-obsessed and totally fearless!

{The unapologetic and fearless parts I like. The rest is not very flattering is it?}

But, I have a confession to make...

I blog about style, but sometimes I am not as confident as my outfit portrays me to be.
Sometimes I am nervous, or anxious, or unsure of myself.
Sometimes I have to fake my fearlessness.

{I suspect that I am not alone with that!}

I WANT to be fearless.
So I have to make it happen.

I WANT to be fearless, so I have to make it happen!

Luckily faking some confidence it quite easy, and it's okay.
More than okay in fact.

Faking is almost as good as genuinely believing.
Faking can help you start to believe in yourself.
Faking it is the first step to making it.
Each time you fake it, it gets easier.

{And, no one can tell the difference!}

I know that many of us worry about what other people might be thinking.
{I used to worry a lot, even if I didn't like to admit it.}

We might worry that our friends (or family) will wonder if we are losing the plot, or having a midlife crisis, if we start to dress differently.

I am lucky to have a very supportive family (they take it all in their stride) so I was saddened to hear that many women get snide comments from their partners and children!
Awful right?
If you can't get support from your nearest and dearest, who can you rely on?

However, this reaction is perfectly understandable.
Husbands, partners and children might be worried that their wife/lover/mother is going to change.
Most people don't like change.
Change can be unsettling.

So, yes, your loved ones should support and encourage you but sometimes they find it hard.
This is the time to take things slowly.
Introduce your desired changes using the "Softly, Softly" approach.
A little touch here and there... building up to the place YOU want to be.

I, on the other hand, always go for the "Baptism of Fire" route.
Soft and gentle isn't really my style.
{I don't have the patience, and luckily my friends and family are used to my experiments!}

My way to cope with uncertainty is to just go for it.
No half measures.
Full-on or nothing.

For example, being a little nervous about wearing cobalt/electric blue I bought a full length vintage coat!

{Read about the coat HERE... styled with pink. Along with a guide to wearing bright colours with confidence, real or fake.}

This outfit is a cobalt-coloured slap in the face with a little pattern mix added for good measure.

Blue is associated with integrity and stability....making people who meet you subconsciously assume you are someone to be trusted.

Blue symbolises intelligence, truth and confidence.
Bright blue is the perfect colour in which to fake some Fearlessness and Fabulousness!

Bright Blue is the perfect colour in which to fake some Fearlessness, and Fabulousness! 

However, there is no point in someone (like me) telling you to go for it and ignore everyone else.

If you are genuinely worried about what people are thinking, it can be debilitating.

Worry and Fear makes you shrink.
Fear can make a stunning outfit (that really suits you) look awkward, and wrong.

Fear is a learned behaviour, and a very powerful emotion.
Fear can stop you doing the things you want to do.

This destructive emotion will have been cultivated and developed for years (probably since childhood) and is a tough nut to crack.

{I understand...it took me over 30 years to make peace with my pale and slim legs}

But don't worry!
You can manage this emotion, and train yourself to overcome it.
You can push through the fear and emerge at the other side.
You can't be brave without first being afraid.

You can't be Brave without first being Afraid.

I believe there are two ways to overcome fear...

• The "Softly, Softly" Approach.

Or, (my personal favourite)...

• The "Baptism of Fire".

These a pretty self-explanatory, aren't they?
One way introduces small and gradual changes, the other is like flipping a style switch.

Either will work, but both require a deep breath and a step into the unknown.

4 Things to Remember...

1. Do whatever is right for you.
2. Never EVER apologise, or make excuses for your choices.... even if it's on the tip of your tongue.
3. If someone says something positive simply thank them. Don't say something negative after their complement. Take it for what it is and enjoy it.
4. If someone makes a snide, nasty or bitchy comment. Feel sorry for them. Don't allow their lack of self-esteem drag you down. Anyone who feels the need to try and make you feel low is to be pitied. Give a wry smile and move on. Don't waste a moment of your time trying to analyse what they meant. It's not important.

Never EVER apologise, or make excuses for your choices.

If it happens to be your friends (or family) who are making negative comments, accept that they may feel unsettled but don't accept their behavior.
Be open and honest, tell them what you want to achieve, and why.
Reassure them you are still their mum/friend/lover/wife BUT you deserve positivity, and will accept nothing less.

Love you, love your choices!

It was blowing a hoolie and freezing cold so I am layered up to the MAX here....including thermal capri leggings, tights and sheepskin shoe liners.
So those are not really bare ankles.
My underlayers are (thankfully) not for public display!

COAT: Vintage Windsmoor....cost me £1.20 {insert happy, and slightly smug, face}... this petite Topshop one is lovely.
TROUSERS: Topshop
BLOUSE: Charity shop
UNDER-TOPS (layered up): Uniqlo (striped) and Topshop (Sheer blue)
BAG: c/o Bonmarche
SHOES: Nine West... these are old but you can find them all over now!

Do you ever lack confidence?
What helps you "Fake it"?

Please share your secrets in the comments.
I'd love to hear them!

It was SO windy there was nothing left to do but let my hair go crazy, my coat flap about and laugh!

GET THE LOOK