For the imperfect Fashion lover.

Sunday, 6 May 2018

Stop Hiding Behind your Clothes... It Doesn't Work! LINK UP

Good grief people, there are LOADS (and I mean oodles and oodles) of articles, vlogs, blog posts and features dishing out advice on what to wear, aren't they?
  • How to look slimmer.
  • How to hide your thighs.
  • How to cover your belly.
  • How to look taller.
{I've even had my tuppence worth with "How to Hide a Bloated Belly" }
  • How depressing.
I must admit that some of the advice is brilliant... and really works.

"Use a chunky necklace/earrings to distract the eye up towards your face and away from your tummy".... (me 😀)

At the end of the day, once the initial impression has been made, no amount of 'clever' dressing or smart accessorising can really change your body.

Hiding away your body in an all-black baggy ensemble does NOT make you look slimmer/taller... whatever.

Let me explain and share a story with you...

I have this beautiful friend.

(Think a kick-ass, funny version of Snow White)

I gave said friend a pair of purple flowery leggings, to wear at the gym.
She loves purple.
She often talks about wanting to get into more colour.
She likes feminine styles (like florals).
I was definitely on to a winner.

Or, so I thought.

The leggings were promptly handed back.

"Oh no! Do they not fit?" 
"No no, they fit really well." 
"Oh, right...Do you not like them? 
(I was sure she would!)
"No, I love them ..... it's just ... there a bit too much. I don't think I'm ready for full-length purple florals"
"Eh? What do you mean?"
"Well, that floral pattern all over my thighs makes them look bigger."


I, at this point (in my usual non-diplomatic blurting kind of way) said the following....

"Your thighs are your thighs regardless of whether they are in (boring) black leggings or (fabulous) floral patterned ones"

{Plus, they are amazingly strong! You should see this woman squat.}

"The black leggings don't hide them, or make them look slimmer, they just stop YOU looking at them."
"In the florals, it's only you that is fixating on your thighs... noticing them more."
"No one else is doing this."
"No one else gives a toss about your leggings or your thighs."
"And besides, no one spends their time staring at your thighs, apart from you... and your husband... and he's certainly not thinking anything other than how lucky he is!"
"Everyone else is either looking at your face (to talk to you) or possibly admiring your tiny waist, how strong you are and what great shape you are in."
"These floral leggings will look fabulous on you."
"Give them a chance."
"Give yourself a chance."
"Give your thighs a break... they do an amazing job."

 {BTW...The leggings were handed back and have subsequently been worn many times... and look great!}

Clothes can NOT change your body.

You do not look slimmer/taller/more petite in certain clothes.

Of course, some items are more flattering than others, and you can certainly give an initial illusion, or momentarily distract the eye.
But you can't really hide who you are.

{At this point I must say that badly fitting clothes look terrible and can cause lumps, bumps and serious ugly ooze.... but this happens at ANY size.}

For example, if you have short legs heels do look great, but they don't make your legs look longer.
They just look like your legs in lovely heels... and there is nothing wrong with that!

Your thighs are the same size in black as they are in that bright floral pattern.
And which is more fun to wear?

If you're plus-sized don't hide away...why not wear that mega-watt colour you love?
What's stopping you?

Do it.
Life is too short to be waiting around until you've "Lost the weight" or whatever else is holding you back.

Enjoy your clothes... don't hide behind them.

{Check out my side bar "Blogroll" for some colourful (and not so colourful) style inspiration from women of ALL sizes!}

Last week the lovely Bettye caught my eye with her brilliant post.
{See it HERE}
She is certainly NOT hiding behind her clothes, and why should she?

In her own words...

"I spent many years thinking…I’m too fat, I’m too old, I don’t have any sense of style, boo hoo hoo. But finally I just decided to do it anyway. To make the effort to dress better anyway. Even If I was fat and old and bleh. And you know what? I feel so much better now. I look better. I’m still fat and old, ha ha. But…it’s better. And if *I* can do it, anyone can."

If that doesn't inspire, I don't know what will!

Now it's your turn...



  1. This is SO true, Samantha!!! Why can't people realize that they should use their clothes to show off their wonderful personalities instead of hiding??

    1. This is absolutely what I think too, Jodie. :)

    2. Yes and YES ladies!!!
      We're kidding ourselves on if we think anything we wear can hide our overall height, basic shape and general size... of course there are always clothes that will highlight a mummy tummy or squeeze out a muffin top.
      But when push comes to shove, forget spanxs and boring clothes.
      Just wear what we want!

  2. Flipping love this. Once again, totally grateful for your ballsy attitude.

  3. Perhaps this will put a little bit a smile on Bettye s beautiful face, her lovely dog Caleb passed away.

    1. Poor Bettye... there is no love like that of our furry friends.
      How sad.

  4. I agree with all of this! And I also agree that Bettye is fierce and beautiful...she's one of my favorites.

  5. Samantha, this post is genius and I agree with you completely. It reminds of this article that is well worth a read...( 25 Women Bare Their Gloriously Unretouched Thighs — And Describe Them In One Word

    I adore Bettye and her style and her attitude! I have been a huge fan of hers for quite some time!

    And this post also reminds me of a saying my sister and I exchange often. It may sound a bit harsh at first, but know that it is always said in love and it makes us laugh and laugh every time it comes up. It started many years ago when I was going on a date and I asked my sister, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" Her quick and witty response was simply, "No. The fat makes you look fat. Don't blame the jeans." And there you have it! We cannot change our bodies and we should just embrace and love our bodies, for they are the only ones we are given. I have long since stopped blaming my clothes for how my body looked and have just found more flattering ways to adorn the body that I have and love! Great post as always!


    1. Hahahahahaha... sisters!
      I love the brutal honesty.
      I don't have any siblings but I imagine if I did that would be our relationship.
      (I hope)
      Thank you for dropping that link too.
      Really interesting.
      I thoughts all of the women looked beautiful... dimples and all!

  6. this is so true, and I totally agree!, clothes can cheer you up, they can make you feel more comfident, more fabulous, more You, but they can Not change your body. Embracing your own shape, your own lovely body is so important!
    Lovely post!

    1. YES! Of course we can always make more 'flattering' choices (tummy pleats but whats the point in trying to hide?
      It all reminds me of the "Emperor's new clothes" ... just silly.

  7. You're good in pencil skirts

  8. I realised this and love wearing bright clothes, leggings for the gym and lazy days too, lol. Jacqui Mummabstylish

    1. Bright and patterned are my favourite gym things... I no longer care what my bum might look like :oP

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  10. As usual, I couldn't agree more with you, Sam - you've summed up what I think so eloquently that I have nothing new to add!

    I didn't previously know of Bettye or her blog, but she's certainly an inspiration to anyone who thinks they are too old/large/short (or anything else) to wear nice clothes and look good in them - it's not true, and Bettye is living proof.

    1. She's fab isn't she Fran?
      Thank you so much for your kind words.

  11. Your story of the purple floral leggings is wonderful. Why do we cling to the notion that our bodies have to "qualify" for fashion?

  12. I wore a lot of black in my teens and early 20s hoping to hide bits I didn't like but now I love wearing bright and patterned clothes. I chose Bettye as one of my favourites this week too...she's fabulous!

    Emma xxx

  13. Thank you for this post, Samantha, it was very timely for me. I just got my dreaded school photos back and have been kicking myself for wearing a striking black and white dress. It gave me a sleepless night as I worried how big I looked in it. Truth be told, I wore something I love and I am a big strong woman with a body to match. No point hiding it as it won't be hidden!

    1. Oh... I'm sad to hear you worried about how you looked in that dress... and happy you now feel different!!
      Bold and beautiful is a much better option than awkward and apologetic.
      I bet you wowed in that dress... it sounds fabulous.
      As you rightly say "No point in hiding".

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  15. Hmmmm....I definitely don't hide in my clothes. But, I do use certain styles to hide certain aspects of my body. Does that make sense? For example, I'm all about a short shift dress--it highlights my legs but hides my tummy. Today, I'm wearing a tank with shorts, BUT I've got a kimono on to hide a any muffin top spillage from the tucked in tank.

    So, yes don't hide but I kind of do use clothing to hide. Does that make sense? Am I being too controversial?

    What do you think of my reply Sam?


    Ann from Kremb de la Kremb

    1. I love your reply Ann!
      I must agree... your "highlighting legs" is a big yes but the dress doesn't actually hide your tum, it just draws no attention to it because your legs have stolen the show and you FEEL better.
      An the kimono/muffin situation is similar... feeling better is the secret to looking better :o)
      I think that a little distraction is wonderful!!!!


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