Not this old chestnut again!
Are women really still feeling the pressure to conform to some made-up rule book?
I had a 10-second conversation with someone today that got me thinking.
I wish we could have talked more but there was no time.
How annoying!
The gist of the conversation went like this...
A: "I heard you have a fashion blog, that's great!"
Me: "Oh, thank you... yes I do."
A: "I should have a look at it because I'm trying to figure out what my style should be."
"I normally like short skirts but I feel like I need to get something longer... my son is 16 and I (he) thinks I'm getting too old for that kind of thing."
Me: "Oh, really?... I don't agree with that at all!"
"We need more time to talk!!"
We didn't get another chance to chat and I was left with a whole list of things I wished I could have said.
The thought of someone feeling they need to change who they are and what they like to wear upsets me.
Anyone one who visits Fake Fabulous will know I'm completely against age-appropriate clothing... see this post about not being ready to be frumpy.
We've all heard enough about this topic, that's for sure.
But I'm also dead against any kind of peer (or family based) pressure to dress a certain way.
Even if it's not intended.
My friends would happily comment on my outfits (goodness knows there have been some clangers!) but they also know I would just as happily ignore their opinions.
My husband comments from time to time... safe in the knowledge that his comments have Zero to No influence on my choice of clothes, or how to wear them.
My children say nothing...
Except sometimes my 13-year-old tells me I'm the most embarrassing mum on the planet.
{Along with the Mums of most 13-year-olds out there!}
My son (who is now 19) has never commented but I think he secretly likes the fact his mum has a blog and sometimes wears a splash of colour!
I understand this women's plight.
At 38-40 I had a serious style wobble... thinking it was maybe time to make a few changes.
To act more grown up.
To dress like a real woman.
I even got rid of some old favourites that I (stupidly) thought were no longer appropriate.
What a numpty!!!
How I wish I could go back and have a word with my 38-year-old self.
I'd still be the owner of a pair of lime green suede spray-on trousers... sigh.
Hindsight is wonderful.
The moral of this story?
Don't EVER change who YOU are.Don't EVER stop wearing what you love and being who you want to be.
And never ever EVER get rid of things you love just because you think you should.
Stick two fingers up to that rule book!
Read more about this topic...
- Is it time for your Style to Grow up?
- Too old for cropped tops and skinny jeans?
- How to get out of a style RUT.
- Dressing Well, why it matters!
- Can grown-up women wear Dungarees?
- When legs get old... 7 steps to great legs (Get the minis out, ladies!)
What words of stylish wisdom would you give to someone having a style wobble?
I'd love to hear them!
Last week Carrie's statement leather top caught my eye and made me feel a pang of serious style envy.
This look makes me smile despite not being a big fan of black, especially all-black outfits (on me).
It's simple, stylish and with just enough edge.
Fabulous.
See her original post HERE.
Now it's your turn...
I can totally relate Samantha. Because we are brought up to think there is right and wrong with our clothes and style!! Yet the more I blog and see others have fun with their clothes...it's an uplifting and creative venue instead!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Jodie
www.jtouchofstyle.com
Oh Jodie... I was desperate to talk more to this woman who should definitely STILL be wearing her mini skirts. She is beautiful! XXX
DeleteThanks for hosting. May be her skirt length is just most flattering around her knees and the teenage boy just doesn't know to say that, but sees it?
ReplyDeleteI had thought of that Nicole but she does have an amazing pair of pins!
Delete(She was in the gym at the time in a pair of gym tights)
Maybe her boy doesn't like his mum looking "sexy"... teenage boys get funny about their mums, especially when their friends are around.
No one want their pals thinking their mum is hot! Yuck!!!
LOL
I love it when you get feisty about women being directed ,mis-directed or even influenced by the style police. Bravo Samantha!
Deletehi Sam!
ReplyDeleteIt does seem to amaze me that ladies think they have to listen to rules and continue to be limited in their dress and style. I say no rules.. heheh. Sounds like you would have had an enjoyable conversation with the woman you spoke with. i enjoy wearing mini dresses at times, having long hair, etc etc. Lovely outfit on Carrie, like the leather top! Ill link up more tomorrow.
jess xx
www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Thank you Jess!
DeleteI love that top on Carrie too.... but would like it on ME as well :oP
XXX
I love wearing bright colours and wear an array of colours, and don't really care what people think! Thanks for sharing this post Hun. Jacqui Mummabstylish
ReplyDeleteYes Jacqui!!
DeleteThat's why we blog :oP
XXX
great look!
ReplyDeletemy blog: THE COLORFUL THOUGHTS
Which one Nad?
DeleteXXX
This resonates so well. I even thought that at 40 I couldn't wear skinny jeans! Yes at 40. I did give things away that I thought were too young but I lost me. Luckily I gave a few things to my daughters who never wore them so I grabbed them back after a few years. Including my beloved denim jacket.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.muttonstyle.com
I'm glad I was not alone in my wobble Anna.
DeleteWe're lucky we have come out of the other side unscathed... albeit without a few old faves!
I'm relieved you salvaged your denim jacket.
XXX
Just the other day a co-worker said to me that she loves stripes but doesn't think she should wear them because (she has been told) they make her look larger. I said, "I AM large, with or without stripes. So I just wear what I like...and if someone else has a problem with that, well that's THEIR problem." It's amazing that these "rules" are actually still ruling people!
ReplyDeleteI make up enough rules for myself without listening to anyone else's, ha!
Bettye
Gosh Bettye I said EXACTLY this to my friend.... I gave her purple flowery leggings for the gym (she loves purple and flowers) and she said she worried her thighs were too big.
DeleteI told her her thighs are the same in flowers as in black... except flowers are prettier!
She's been wearing them ever since!
You are spot on with this comment.
Stripes don't make anyone look bigger or smaller... just stripier!!!
We should wear what we want and what makes us smile.
In reality clothes can't hide that much anyway!
I love your fab comments.
Thank you.
XXX
Wearing what you like just makes you feel good and comfortable. I don't want to be an old frumpster!!! XO
ReplyDeleteHahahaha... I don't think any one does do they Lisa?
DeleteI'm constantly trying to figure out what makes an outfit look frumpy, or not!
XXX
Such a fabulous post again, Samantha! I totally agree with you. I hope that woman you spoke to found your blog and reads this!
ReplyDeleteHave a FAB week. Hope the sun is shining.... it's still NOT here. Unbelievable weather for Portugal!!
Suzy xxx
www.suzyturner.com
I'm going to tell her she inspired me ... if I see her again!
DeleteXXX
I was brought up in a time when my dear nan used to warn me never to wear red '...because it was the colour for ladies of the night'. She seems to have moved on and loves to wear a pillow box red cardi, but it shows how views have changed..! xx
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha....thank goodness times have changed!!! XXX
DeleteHahahaha!! Yes, red was a colour reserved for wanton women :P
DeleteI totally agree with you! I had this "heated discussion" on Facebook with someone who followed my page (she had joined simply for the giveaways apparently), who insisted that "a woman should dress according to her age" and thought that during her recent visit to the US, the French First Lady was "pretending to be a little girl" contrary to the American First Lady who, according to that person "was really a little girl". First of all, neither one of them can be called "a little girl", after all Melania is two years short of being 50! And most importantly, what was so "little girl"-ish about Mrs Trogneux's very classy skirt suit? She wasn't wearing jeans, nor bright colours, nor was wearing a deep decoletté blouse or whatever. I mean, what was she supposed to be wearing "at her age" as that person kept saying? A hijab?! I'm so angry with such narrow minded people, I can't believe, as you say, that we're having this conversation in 2018! Oh well, it will be interesting to see what that young lady would be wearing in her 60s one day and if she will still have the same opinion LOL
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this Eleanna... it made me smile!
DeleteI think some people enjoy making a fight out of nothing.
Who really cares what these women (or any women) wear?
Other people's style choices don't impact on our lives in any way... unless it is to remind us not to be frumpy or inspire us to look for edgy.
Oh, and I love hijab style.... Liyana (at affordorable.com) is one of my favourite bloggers!!!
Thanks for this fab comment.
XXX
I didn't wear mini skirts for years, and since last winter I wear them again, because I thought: what the hack, I want to wear a mini skirt! And I feel good wearing them. I also bought two skirts that were longer, below the knees, because I thought I should wear that length being over 50. Last week I brought them to the tailor to make them shorter! If it doesn't feel good, it doesn't look good!
ReplyDeleteExactly Nancy Feel good = Look good.
DeleteGet those pins out!!!
We're a long time dead.
XXX
I adore this post and I so agree with you I think we all have this "insta moments" where we worry they key is pushing through before we rashly give away our lime green pants. I do have toss regret. The key is wearing what makes you fel happy and when it stops feeling good then toss it not because someone else said to. AS I post my neon pink converse and neon kimono at 54. I also have a Labour of Fashion Link up every THursday please come visit and share your great looks.
ReplyDeleteYes and YES to neon and converse !!
DeleteI occasionally feel a pang for my lime suede trousers... they were the perfect fit on the bum and made me look so curvy and feel uber-sexy... I don't really recall having to buy a drink when I was wearing them ;oP
XXX
I'm 41 and I love my distress jeans and my chunky shooties and the occasional colorful scarf
ReplyDeleteor jacket..all is reflective of where I am in life..kids are 21, 16 and 14 and old to get their own breakfast..so if I want a splash of color so it shall be....
Margie
Yes Margie!
DeleteAnd why not!? :o)
XXX
Words of wisdom, Sam, and something you know I'm truly supportive of. I just don't understand the phrase, "For your age" or "suitable for someone in her 40s". I don't even know what they mean. Every time we put on clothes, it should be seen as an opportunity to play dress up, to please only one person, ourselves :) which you are clearly a perfect role model for. I suspect I raise many eyebrows out there myself, what with my shorts and nip slips and tattoo-embellished-midrif-baring outfits HAHAHA and honestly, I couldn't care less. It took me over 45 years to gain the confidence to wear/do those things, and I certainly am not going to let anyone's opinion rain on my parade :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteI just thought "35 is so young!!" ... too young to be worrying about being "too old".
DeleteI love your fierce style Sheela.
You are fabulous!!
XXX