Style Tips & Fun with Fashion, over 40.

Sunday, 12 November 2017

Forget Perfect...it's Okay to be an Idiot! #fakeituntilyoumakeit LINK UP

Fake it Until you Make it LINK UP | Fake Fabulous

This post was inspired by an email.

The email was sent to me by a thoughtful reader who had noticed a typo in one of my scheduled emails, and wanted to tell me.

I had used the word 'summery' instead of 'summary'.
Oh dear...
Yep, that happened 😬.

After reading the email I actually laughed out loud at myself.
What an idiot!

This email came a few days after someone else had told me one of my links wasn't working.
Turns out I had forgotten the 'www.'.
Hmmmm...

Should I really be allowed near a computer?? 😜

The lovely lady who pointed out my 'summery' error was worried I would be offended.

Why would I be offended by someone trying to help me?

{BTW...I must point out at this point that it takes a lot to offend me... and I mean A LOT.. so no matter what she had said I am unlikely to be offended.
However, in a case like this I am always grateful... no offence caused!}

After the inevitable face-palm, I set to fixing the problem... still chuckling at the fact I can be a total idiot at times.

I'm a speedy, no planning, write-it-as-you-think-it type of writer.
I never prepare a draft.

I just write from my heart, sometimes completely changing direction halfway through a piece.
Often to the point my title makes no sense anymore!

So, typos are (almost) inevitable.

{Of course, I always do a spell check BUT sometimes autocorrect doesn't know a word is out of context does it?)

I'm impulsive, impatient and get bored checking things over.
I'm trying to do better at the whole 'checking then double checking' thing but it's HARD.

With all of life's little cock-ups I sometimes I wonder how I hold down a technical job, run a house, remember everything that the family needs AND run a blog.

Often autopilot does the work for me...
Autopilot into idiot land!

Fake it Until you Make it LINK UP | Fake Fabulous

But you know what?
It's okay!

SO many people are afraid to be wrong.
I see it every day.
They are so unhappy to be seen to make a mistake that they get aggressive and angry.
They are so concerned about being 'caught out' that they run themselves ragged.
They will deflect blame, and even lie just to prevent the ball falling at their feet.

Sometimes the pressure to be perceived as perfect is so great is causes anxiety and stress, making the chance of cocking up even greater.

And for what?
Respect?
Who has respect for someone who behaves like that?
Not me.
Control?
Maybe... but always needing to be in control is stressful, unattainable and unhealthy.
Thanks?
Not likely!

In the end, it's all for nothing.

Fake it Until you Make it LINK UP | Fake Fabulous

Years ago I learned to let go of the need to be perfect, and it's a good job I did because I'm FAR from it!!

Trying to do it all, and do it without error, took it's toll on my happiness.
I learned to apologise for, or laugh at my mistakes (depending on which is more appropriate) and I'm much happier for it!

I'm constantly balancing on a narrow beam of "holding life together" and I am quite happy to slip off it from time to time!
Luckily I've set my bar at a safe height and it's easy enough to climb back on when I drop off!

What I'm trying to say (in my round about, imperfect way) is "Let it go!"
Give yourself permission to fail and make mistakes.
Learn to laugh at yourself.
Accept criticism and help.

Don't get offended when someone points out something you could have done better.

{Of course, if the person is being a bitch about it, or trying to humiliate you then stand up for yourself but that goes without saying doesn't it!}

So a BIG thank you to the lovely Alison, who pointed out my (stupid) error and a BIG thank you to YOU for being here supporting Fake Fabulous!

What are your thoughts on this?
Do you find it hard to make mistakes, fearing ridicule or rejection?
Or, are you quite happy to be an idiot from time to time?
Please let me know in the comments, or send me an email if you're too shy to share your thoughts here.

Last week the fabulous Monica stole my heart with this picture of her with her beautiful Mum.
Monica is one of my favourite bloggers... she has such an eye for colours, pattern mixing and accessorising in a matchy/clashy way.
It's a unique skill.
It's obvious (from this shot) where she gets her stylish genes from!
See her original post HERE.

Fake it Until you Make it LINK UP | Fake Fabulous


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37 comments

  1. Sam, I love this post more than I can even say...because I, like you, make all too many mistakes because I check and recheck and still miss some things. Fortunately, I have a few friends and kind readers who let me know when there is a glaring mistake. And I am so thankful for it because I can't catch everything. I am not perfect either. But I would rather be let known so I can fix the errors. Funny story that happened recently...I work a lot of vendor fairs with very talented crafters and I made the stupidest comment to one crafter that her handmade product "looked professional". I meant it as a compliment and did not realize my error until another vendor friend responded, "Are you kidding me? She is a professional. She makes money selling her products thereby fitting the definition of professional." Trying to save myself, I ventured on an explanation that was, in fact, even more offensive. And my friend looked at me with wide eyes and asked, "Are you an idiot?" At which point, we all burst into laughter as I replied, "Yes. Apparently, I am. I am so sorry for my ignorance!" So yes, please, let me know when I make mistakes so that I don't go on making them! Great post! Thanks for sharing!

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

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    1. Oh Shelbee....I cringed at your story and am SO glad you all had a good laugh about things in the end!
      I suppose some people would know what you meant and would not be offended while others would be VERY offended. It's so complicated and confusing!
      I'm very much a blab what's on my mind kind of person then think "oops, maybe that wasn't very subtle/diplomatic" later.
      Oh well, we can't change who we are can we?
      Thank you for your funny comment!
      XXX

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  2. What a refreshing attitude Samantha! Love it.

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  3. Yup! I'm always laughing at myself! xx
    www.vanityandmestyle.com

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  4. That's what makes us human! I'm ditch and I don't use Google translate, I'll berry there are so many times when my English readers think: what the hell means that! Oh well....

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    1. I always figure it out Nancy :oP... AND hat's off to anyone (i.e. You) who is so talented as to write in different languages. It's amazing!! XXX

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  5. I had to laugh at this because I'm probably a bigger idiot, in that I wouldn't have even noticed it!!
    But the best thing about getting older is realizing that I'm not perfect, never was and never will be!!
    Do you know I had a reader point out that I use exclamation points all the time? And she was right, and I never realized it!! I still do it in my comments, but I tried to contain myself in my posts....
    XOXO
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. Oh Jodie...I like your exclamation marks!!!
      Keep them!
      In fact do MORE!!!!!!! :oP
      They are what makes you you and I'm all for that!!!
      XXX

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  6. Great post, Samantha! I am more than happy to be a bit of an idiot sometimes and I'm like you - a bit of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of writer.... which makes it more fun!
    Suzy xx
    www.suzyturner.com

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  7. Ha-ha Sam, maybe you were just wishing on a sub-conscious level for 'summery' weather. Lise

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    1. Hahahahaha.... yes Lise, probably just wishful thinking :oP
      XXX

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    1. I don't think so Amy! Maybe clumsier though :oP
      XXX

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  9. Haha - I am always finding little mistakes after the fact in my posts, as I write mine in the same fashion as you, Sam. When I was younger I would become defensive if a flaw was pointed out. I have learned to own mistakes and learn from them as I have matured.

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    1. That's true Jennie!
      I used to feel silly, humiliated and like a failure... now I just laugh or roll my eyes (at myself).
      As life moves on we have bigger problems to deal with don't we?
      XXX

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  10. As someone who definitely has perfectionist tendencies - I'm a stereotypical Virgo! - I often struggle with letting go of those "finer details", dearest Samantha. And if someone points out a mistake that I've made, I'm usually embarrassed...not offended!! Still, I'm gradually learning to be a little less OCD about stuff; although the fact that I tweeted "greatful" instead of "grateful" about six months ago still makes me cringe!! 😣 😉

    www.StyleIsMyPudding.com

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    1. Hahahahaha....that's a bummer Monika. I'm sure you're not the first (or last) to do that!
      There are loads of MAJOR gaffs on twitter that make me laugh out loud.
      "Your lovely"
      "Where has the time went?"
      "I borrowed there car and parked it over their!"
      Hahahahaha.
      XXX

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    2. BTW... I had to check that I had used grateful and not greatful there as it would be sods law!

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  11. I made a sort of mistake and loved that someone pointed it out - it was for my benefit at the end of the day. Thanks for sharing this, a great 'true' read. x Jacqui
    www.mummabstylish.com

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    1. Thank you so much Jacqui.
      I like it too...I'm so grateful for any help.
      XXX

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  12. Sam, so right about the auto-correct.. i came to the realization i can only do my best. that is it. I have had mistakes pointed out, and i appreciate t and fix it. i think this type of thinking held me back when i was younger, with my music, because i felt like if i wasn't perfect in my guitar playing, who the heck would want to listen to that? But at the same time, people make mistakes, you learn to cover them up.. as my music teacher taught me.i think it is much more freeing to realize this!
    enjoy your week!
    Jess xx
    www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

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    1. I can understand that Jess but with music the expression is much more important than note perfection... much like blogging.
      A "perfect" outfit is unattainable and boring.
      Having character and quirkiness is much more interesting.
      XXX

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  13. I'm the first to admit I'm a perfectionist, Samantha... I drive myself nuts sometimes by the number of times I check and recheck things: That's why posts are often late going up!! But just as easily - mostly with what I'm wearing - I've learnt to let go and think, "who cares if it's not a perfect outfit"... I guess I'm a woman of contradiction ;)

    I don't mind when I've been corrected either, like Monika above I'm often mortified when I get something obvious wrong (I think I wrote "sneaky peak" instead of "peek" once on Twitter. And you can't change it, aaaaargh!!!!)

    Thanks for hosting, lovely lady! C x

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    1. I wish I could be more like you when it comes to writing Catherine... your work is always perfect, which is why you are so successful.
      Something to aim for.
      As for the perfect outfit..... no thanks!
      I love little quirks and individuality.
      Perfect Insta-clones are boring.
      XXX

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  14. This is a wonderful post Samantha. Such good advice, especially for a control freak like me. It's great to have some down to earth advice from a friend and one who's battling with the same things we all do. The juggling act we full time workers have to perform means that sometimes we are going to have a failure somewhere - it's inevitable isn't it? Anyway, thanks for this very good, and timely post!

    Anna x

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    1. Thank you so much Anna!
      We do put a lot of pressure on ourselves don't we?
      Us women are pretty bloody amazing and do SO much.
      Little cock-ups are no big deal, we have bigger fish to fry sometimes!
      XXX

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  15. I'm so similar to my post's approach: no drafts. I just write and hope it makes some sense. Most often I hope I tell a story or two about what I'm wearing. Sometimes I start off with one idea and end up realizing I need to loop back to the origin of the post's idea! Like you, but I love your posts!!

    In terms of criticism, as long as it's constructive and helps me to get better, I'm all for it. When it's from my husband though, I usually feel really bad. I know I've messed up if he's commenting on something I've done. He rarely does--maybe that's why!! I'm laughing at myself. He's just such a good person....anyway, I'm getting off topic.

    But, ya, constructive criticism works for me. I know my writing is filled with typos, so I actually wouldn't mind be corrected more often, but then it's probably my job to do that! Hahah!

    I love your link up Sam. I wish I wasn't so sporadic!!

    Love, Annie from Kremb de la Kremb

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    1. Oh I'm glad to hear that Annie!
      Although I wish I was a drafter sometimes.
      Methodical and organised.
      Maybe one day??
      (Hahahaha...not likely!)
      Keep being spontaneous and sporadic... it's you!
      XXX

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  16. I loved this post. Being human guarantees glorious imperfection. Oh how bleak the world would be without ALL versions of ourselves and others. You're as wise as you are stylish Samantha!

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  17. woaa, I had to tell Mamá that she's a rockstar now!, mwhaha, she's going to be amazed!. Thank you for your kind words, you're so lovely!
    And I totally agree with you (once more!). Letting ourselves to make mistakes, to be even clumsy, that makes our lifes so much better. As a notoriously clumsy lady, I've learnt to accept it as a part of my personality, instead of trying to be in control all the time. That was so stressful!
    I know that I make mistakes all the time, and my english is pretty awkward, but I keep on writting!. I think that all we need to live and learn!
    besos

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    1. Your English is amazing!
      I'm always in awe of your ability to sound "real" in english as well as your mother language.
      Such a talent.
      Thank you for your lovely comment and introducing us to your beautiful Mum!
      XXX

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  18. Hahaha! We were twins separated at birth. I'm a rampant mistaker! No time, no time, like the Mad Hatter at times. It doesn't bug me when people point out mistakes, and I'm grateful like you. Clumsy, breathless, not knowing the end of the sentence when I'm midway through it. As long as we get our "essense" across - I keep telling myself that. Great post.

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    1. Hahahahaha.... SO true Melanie!
      Getting the real you across is what it's all about, although I would like my essence to be free of typos! :oP
      I love the thought of the mad hatter twins!
      I bet they would have fun times :o)
      XXX

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