Style Tips & Fun with Fashion, over 40.

Monday, 28 August 2017

Get a Thick Skin | Fake it Until You Make it Link Up

 Denim Dungarees, Ruffle Top & Fringed Boots | Fake Fabulous

I have a pretty thick skin, which has slowly developed over the years, and holds me in good stead when it comes to the rigours of daily life.
Backhanded compliments, and even direct insults, roll off me like water off a duck's back.
I can safely say that I'm not easily offended!

I'm well aware of my flaws and limitations.
Nothing anyone can say isn't something I've either heard before (I've had some hum-dingers over the years) or thought myself.
I've made peace with all my imperfections.

So, when I was asked...

 "Are dungarees really in fashion again?"

{Whilst being looked up and down (with a curled-lip-face)... in my dungarees!}
I didn't feel offended, or upset.
I just laughed it off, with a shrug of my shoulders.

As I was laughing at the absurdity of the comment I realised that some people do get hurt, and upset, by actions like these... and that made me a little annoyed.

Denim Dungarees, Ruffle Top & Fringed Boots | Fake Fabulous

Fake fabulous is a place where I am free to express myself, and you are free to have an opinion about it.
Which you may, or may not, share in the comments.
That is the nature of blogging.

However, you don't expect people to come up to you in 'real life' and say things like...

"Gosh, that dress looks bloody awful on you!"

The first thing to realise is anyone who looks you up and down before making a snide comment is an idiot!

Nothing nice to say?
Well, Shut up!

{Unless of course you have ASKED someone for their honest opinion. Even then comments can always be constructive, rather than nasty.}

Secondly, whether or not a item is 'in fashion' is irrelevant.
If you like it, wear it.

Fashion is a fickle facade.
Yes, it's fun.
Yes, it's artistic and expressive.
Yes, I love it.
BUT,
At the end of the day, it's all about you and your choices.
YOU make things stylish and in fashion!

So, Are dungarees in fashion then?

Erm, who knows and who cares!

I like them.
I'm wearing them.
That's all that matters.

Denim Dungarees, Ruffle Top & Fringed Boots | Fake Fabulous

How to get a thicker skin

So, how can you get a thicker skin then?
It takes time, and practise, but it's worth it!

If someone says something you find offensive, or hurtful, the best way to handle it is to shrug your shoulders, and ignore them.
No matter how much it hurts inside.
Don't let them see they have hurt your feelings.

{Even if you have to disappear into the ladies to take a minute to compose yourself.}

Take a deep breath, suck it up, and remember something VERY important.

Nasty people are the way they are because they are unhappy with themselves.
It's not really anything to do with you.
They may be envious of your (real or perceived) confidence, and are trying to pull you down in order to feel better about themselves.
Or, maybe you are just the closest target.

Either way, ignore them.

If you don't react (or even better laugh) they will soon get fed up and leave you alone.

Believe me, it works... and it's well worth the effort.

Denim Dungarees, Ruffle Top & Fringed Boots | Fake Fabulous

Denim Dungarees, Ruffle Top & Fringed Boots | Fake Fabulous

Have you ever received a backhanded compliment (or a bare faced insult) about something you were wearing, or the way you look?
How did you handle it?
Are you more confident now than you were when you were younger?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.
I would love your opinion on this!

Denim Dungarees, Ruffle Top & Fringed Boots | Fake Fabulous

DUNGAREES: Boden teen section.... similar.
BOOTS: XTI... similar.
TOP: Primark... similar.
CARDIGAN: Fat Face... similar.

My Favourite link from last week was from the lovely Bettye from Fashion Shclub.
Please check out her fabulous post HERE!


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40 comments

  1. I strongly believe in shutting up if I have nothing nice, constructive or interesting to say. In fact, I'm not very good at commenting at all. Not because I have nothing to say, but because as a teacher I spend my days commenting (as nicely as possible) this and that and encouraging people to speak, and off-duty I'm simply fed up with words and the need to say something...
    As for negative comments... well, since I have to suppress my sarcasm at work, I let it loose whenever I have the chance, and I've yet to meet a person who didn't regret trying to put me down...
    And dungarees, why not? After all, it's only clothes, and sometimes you need something fun and uncomplicated and relaxed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha Never mess with a teacher Tiina!
      If anyone can handle themselves it's a person who deals with a room full of "smarty-pants" kiddies :oP
      I'm not very good with the instant comebacks but I bet you could tear a slice or two off someone if needed!
      XXX

      Delete
  2. I'm most probably considered plain and boring compared to some bloggers. But I dress exactly how I want and don't give a S**T either way. People will come back for a read or not. So far so good,I have to say, so it can't be all that bad .
    Thank you for hosting Samanther xx
    www.vanityandmestyle.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for linking Laurie.
      We can't all be the same, or like the same things can we?
      Better to be ourselves.
      Classic or wacky, it's all good fun!
      XXX

      Delete
  3. Oooh, your acquaintance sounds like she missed a few finishing school lessons. Anyway, she's not important. You look adorable in your overalls. I've been hankering for a pair ever since I saw you in yours the first time! Just haven't found the right pair yet. I'm 20 years older than you and know that if I look half as good as you in them, I'll love wearing them. Denim never goes out of style. Nothing made of denim ever goes out of style. We are stylish wearing what we love and know looks good on us. And that's' that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very kind Kathleen!
      I do hope you find a pair that suits.
      Try the teen sections too, some of the sizes are in adult range and it's always worth a check (no tax to pay on Kiddies clothes either :o))
      XXX

      Delete
  4. I do think it's easier to get thick skin as we get older!! At least it has been for me!! And glory be---it's a good thing we don't all like the same things...wouldn't we be so boring if we did?
    XOXO
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure would Jodie!
      Very dull indeed.
      I love looking at other people's outfits, even if they are not to my taste I can still appreciate them on others and get inspiration.
      XXX

      Delete
  5. Samantha I think you know me only too well to know that I wear what I like and don't give two hoots about what anyone else thinks... the insensitivity and rudeness of some people shocks me FAR more than anything that anyone could ever wear however!!

    I wore dungarees too this weekend - long may they reign. You're my dungarees guru, I love to see how you style them for inspo!!

    Thank you for the link up, you lovely lady you xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha... I know Catherine!
      I wonder if some people have a magic mirror they look in where they are perfect, with impeccable taste.
      It's a mystery.
      Most people don't care two hoots about what other people are wearing.
      I tried to explain this to my friend on Saturday (as we were walking down the main shopping street in Glasgow after I had convinced her to buy a BRIGHT pink lipstick that she looked stunning in).
      She was worried people would be staring and thinking "Look at that silly wifey"... but no one even gave us a second glance.
      People are too preoccupied with their own lives.
      Live and let live!
      XXX

      Delete
  6. I really don't get the motivation for negativity (at best) and abuse (at worst) online. If I don't like something, that's my choice and my taste and I don't comment; if it continues, I quietly stop following. More important, regardless of whether dungarees are back in fashion, I don't think I have ever seen a pair worn with such style - these suit you perfectly!! Kx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very kind... thank you so much.
      I've not got time to waste on being nasty either.
      It's much more fun to be nice to people!
      As you say, if I don't like I just look at a different outfit!
      XXX

      Delete
  7. Um, are dungarees ever NOT in fashion? Because if they aren't, then I am completely clueless. But like you said, who cares! I wear what I like, too, regardless of what others say or think. Oh, I have received some doozies in my life as well and thick skin is the result! Poor, sad, nasty people need to get a clue. Great message, Sam, and you are looking quite stylish in your dungarees!

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehehehe.... I agree Shelbee.
      Dungarees are always super-cool.
      XXX

      Delete
  8. I use to be very thin skinned...then I worked retail for six years! LOL! Nothing thickens your skin quicker than a retail job! Great points. Yes, I've been criticized for my fashion choices over the year. My worst critic was an older woman at my old church. Not a week would go by when she wouldn't say something about what I was wearing. Needless to say, I no longer go to that church. Ha-ha! I love that you wear what you love!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha...very true Amy (I worked in retail and as a waitress too).
      That older women at your church sounds like a miserable person!
      She was maybe deeply unhappy with her life, and felt envy towards you.
      What a shame.
      Poor you!
      I'm glad to hear you've left that drama behind.
      XXX

      Delete
  9. You look fabulous and I totally agree with you. The older I've gotten, the more in believe in my own opinions over others'. But the worst of them are usually from those closest to you who claim to only be helping you. Whatever. Thanks for the discussion and for hosting.

    Rena
    http://www.finewhateverblog.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That can be true Rena, for sure!
      I often think it can be because the people closest to you might be afraid of change.
      Say you have a new hair do, makeup or a fabulous dress... they may be worried you will change.
      I tend to ignore everyone...apart from my two youngest girls! They talk a lot of sense and are brutally honest!
      "Mum, just NO!" :oD :oD ;oD
      XXX

      Delete
  10. A thick skin is the best thing one can have!!! Great look!
    Jaymie
    www.jaymieashcraft.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed Jaymie...Toughen up and we can take on the world!
      XXX

      Delete
  11. I happen to love dungarees but have yet to find a pair to suit me (they always make my hips look a little too wide!). Just the other day, I spotted a pink pair in Primark and I got all excited. I was with a friend and she said, "please tell me you're not serious" - like I cared!!! If the buttons hadn't have been too big on the side, I'd have snapped them up!
    Another time was when I first had my pixie cut. One of our friends (a Chinese lady) took one look at me and said, "I don't like it. You look like a boy". WOW... I didn't know what to say so I just laughed!!! I think some people are just insensitive to what comes out of their mouths lol!
    Great post, Samantha.
    Suzy xx
    Suzy Turner at Yogadocious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha.... Charming eh suzy?
      It seems so odd that anyone would even think their opinion was more important than your's when it came to the clothes you wear or that hair on your head.
      It's not like your dressing them or cutting their hair!
      Oh dear.
      I'm glad you could laugh it off.
      XXX
      P.S.... you could always change the buttons on that Primark pair!

      Delete
  12. Thank you; great advice! I love your blog and look forward to it every day. You always look beautiful. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Another great post! I was recently criticized for liking over the knee boots (just for liking them, mind you, not even wearing them!). I'll never understand people who feel the need to put down others' fashion choices. Don't they have more important things to do? Needless to say, I now own two pairs of over the knee boots and can't wait to wear them this fall and winter! Thanks for sharing your wonderful style and your beautiful mind!

    Cathy
    www.cathyvstyle.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear Cathy....how DARE you like OTK boots!!?? LOL
      I'm glad you have totally disregarded that snippet of 'advice' and hope you enjoy wearing yours this AW.
      OTK boots are so warm and cosy.
      Plus, they make jumper dresses (and other potentially dowdy/shapeless clothes) look cool and stylish.
      I love mine to bits!
      Thank you for your lovely comment.
      XXX

      Delete
  14. I think I'm fortunate in that I don't often have to endure a stupidly thoughtless remark, but boy, I am not nearly thick-skinned enough when it does happen! I will try to take your words to heart - that the comment is not really about ME, but about THEM. Thanks for sharing this important post!

    Bettye
    https://fashionschlub.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Bettye.
      If it ever happens to you in the future (I hope it doesn't) flip the comment on it's head and remember you're not the one with the problem!
      XXX

      Delete
  15. Boy some people are idiots! I think you look awesome, which is kind of irrelevant because YOU feel confident in what you are wearing and that's what really matters.
    Michelle
    http://www.thebarefacedchic.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely Michelle!
      All we need is to feel happy and confident in our choices, whatever they may be.
      XXX

      Delete
  16. I'm fairly sure I've had a few insults on my clothing but I've put them out of my mind and can't now recollect. That's a good thing. We wear what we want..keep that in mind and ignore nay sayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you Anna.
      I love the way you cared so little that you can't even recall!
      Brilliant.
      XXX

      Delete
  17. Id have to say, I didn't have thick skin when I was younger, but I am fine with what I wear and really that is the only person you have to please. I Love the overalls, I had a pair once, but they were more baggy then..not as stylish. Love the booties on you!
    PS> I popped over Monday morning to see your linkup, is it Monday night?
    jess xx
    www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Jess.
      Monday at 7pm (GMT) or as close as I can get it to that time.
      Thank you for popping over and leaving a comment.
      I hope you find another pair of dungarees as I know you would look amazing in the right pair!
      XXX

      Delete
  18. Overalls have come back on trend at least 3 or 4 times during my lifetime. They're SO comfy, cute and they really are perfect for gardening!! I've worn them every time they roll back around and in between too!
    I love your attitude and sense of humor Sam. It's so sad that some people are just so darn unhealthy and mean in their view of the world. They are energy draining.
    Bettye's story on the other hand is a lesson in humility, vulnerability and hopefulness. Thank you for reminding us how fleeting life's ease can be and how empowering courage and kindness can be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have such a beautiful way with words Judy!
      Thank you so much for your kindness.
      XXX

      Delete
  19. I think the whole concept of something being "in fashion" is dead in the water. Sure, some things may be more of the moment, but fashion moves so fast now with high street brands having such quick lead times on clothing lines, it's hard to keep up! My mum often asks me if something is in fashion if she sees more than half a dozen people wearing it and I just laugh and tell her there's no such thing as being out of fashion - you just wear what you like and to hell with what other people think! BTW I didn't know you started a link up - I'm just compiling a list to publish so I'll add it on :-)

    Emma xxx
    www.style-splash.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree Emma!
      Some of the high-fashion looks are (frankly) laugh out loud silly.
      Street style or personal style is much more interesting.
      I often don't want to wear other people's outfits that I see, as such, I just LOVE the creativity of other people.
      XXX

      Delete
  20. Well, I love dungarees, I worn them in the past despite they don't flatter my shape, and I would like to wear them as soon as posible (if I find a nice pair). You look really cute, comfy&cool! and I love your accessories and those pink and creamy colors
    I think that I developed a thick skin quite early in my life, but it has become so dense as a diamond after my forties. That counts as an advantage on getting older!.
    I agree with you about ignoring stupid comments on your appearance. It's even better to laugh about them, but I'm not always able to think on a witty answer!.
    I hate particularly backhanded compliments and passive aggressive attitude, as they're more difficult to manage!.
    If somebody ask me 'Are xxx really in fashion again?", then I would answer 'Do you still care about what is in fashion?, that's so old fashioned!' mwahaha.
    besos

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'd probably have just said 'I have no idea' - perhaps they innocently thought you care about what is in fashion! I think they look great :)

    ReplyDelete

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