Style and Fun with Fashion, over 40.

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Can You Wear White to a Wedding? White and Black

White ruffle strapless dress with black trim, topshop unique shoes, black vintage clutch.

Wearing white to a wedding?
Is it the ultimate faux pas?

Can I start by saying that I did NOT (and would not) wear this outfit to a wedding.
But not because it's white.

I wouldn't wear this particular dress because it is strapless, and the strapless look is a very popular bridal style.... more on that in a moment.

This party outfit got me thinking about wedding attire etiquette.
What is socially appropriate, and what is seriously frowned upon?
Is wearing white a big wedding guest faux pas?

I had a look at a few online articles, and many say a definite NO to wearing white to a wedding.
Some with no quarter given.
Just NO, okay?
Hmmmm..... I'm not sure I agree.

I also read an article that accused any woman who would wear white at a wedding of being:

 A brazen attention grabber who wants to steal the bride's thunder, and spoil their day.

Wow....pretty harsh!

White ruffle strapless dress with black trim, topshop unique shoes, black vintage clutch.

Personally, I think that being overly 'sexy', or wearing skimpy clothing, is much more offensive than wearing white.
Micro miniskirts, short shorts and/or plunging necklines are a definate no-no in my book.
The bride should get all of the attention not someone's cleavage!

My decision to wear white (or not) would depend on the type of wedding I was attending, and the couple who were getting married.

For example:
A large modern wedding with a very lavishly dressed bride (and bridal party) and a "trendy" theme would allow me to feel more comfortable wearing white.... although there are boundaries!

(More on those later)

BUT, a low key wedding with a modestly dressed bride would mean white was a definate no-no.
The same goes for a very traditional wedding.
White would just seem rude.

White ruffle strapless dress with black trim, topshop unique shoes, black vintage clutch.





How to wear white to a wedding without offending anyone


{Disclaimer: There is always going to be someone who has something negative to say about your outfit, but they would probably have a bit of a bitch regardless of your choices. So, ultimately, wear something that you feel comfortable in, and you feel is appropriate for the specific event you are attending.}

1. Don't wear all-white

It doesn't matter if your outfit is as un-bride-like as an outfit can be, all-white is (IMO) just rude.
Adding other colours looks great, but just because your bag is pink does not make your floor length white satin gown appropriate.
Wearing white needs careful handling.

2. Avoid bridal styles, fabrics and shapes

Avoid floor length hems, backless styles, white satin, white lace, chiffon overlays or strapless designs.
For obvious reasons.

3. Try trousers or a jumpsuit.

Wearing a more contemporary shape can make your white outfit seem less flashy and more effortless.
However, if you do choose a jumpsuit, see no.1... it still applies!

4. Use a white based pattern

White based florals look beautiful, and are a much easier way to wear white with minimum offending potential.
There are some stunning white-based patterned dresses out there.
Adding a complimenting coloured shoe, and bag, is an easy way to look wedding-guest appropriate.

5. Try soft pastels

If you love a monochromatic look, and simply have to go matchy-matchy, soft pastels look chic.
Pretty pastels are very close to the pale perfection that is white, without the potential contention.
Although cream, ivory and champagne are out of bounds!

White ruffle strapless dress with black trim, topshop unique shoes, black vintage clutch.
{These gold toes don't go with this outfit, my excuse is I couldn't find my remover!}

Of course, none of these "rules" are actually rules are they?
At the end of the day the only opinion that really matters is YOURS.

What do you think about wearing white to a wedding?
A BIG no-no?
Or, anything goes in this day and age?

Please let me know what you think!
I would love to hear from you on this contentious subject.

White ruffle strapless dress with black trim, topshop unique shoes, black vintage clutch.

SHOES: Topshop Unique...these are nice..... these are nothing like mine but FAB!
DRESS: Coast... Charity shopped for a pound! Yes indeed :o). This one is to die for, I LOVE!!!
BAG: Vintage... similar.
CHOKER: My youngest daughter's ...similar.
EARRINGS: Old...similar.

GET THE LOOK


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26 comments

  1. I've done it...does that make me bad??
    But it was to my sister in laws wedding after she had worn white to mine---so I thought it would be fine. I wasn't trying to steal her thunder at all---it was a very demure white dress.
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. LOL....not a bit of it Jodie! Sounds like she set the benchmark and you were just following suit :oP XXX

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  2. I think it very much depends on the bride and her family and their arrangements, my cousins daughter wore a sweeping scarlet wedding dress to her wedding (she had always said that is what she would wear and she loathed the idea of a white brides dress), quite a few of the guests wore white, ivory, cream etc - the photos were absolutely stunning

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    1. That sounds stunning Juliet!
      Wow.... a red bride would mean all traditional rules go out of the window.
      I bet those photos looked amazing.
      XXX

      Delete
  3. You are killing this look lady!

    I probably wouldn't wear white but then again I never wear white! Ha ha!

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  4. Do you know, I've never really given this much consideration - I don't very often wear white anyway, but I don't think such a convention would stop me if I thought an outfit was right. I have to say I sometimes wonder what other attitudes these conventions hide - your 'attention grabber' quote seems to make that point. More importantly, your dress: wow! What a beautiful look. It's such an unusual look, it's a great shape, and the trim is perfect on you! Kx

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    1. I agree! The quote seemed really harsh and sounded a bit like sour grapes. We all need to do what feels right to us don't we? Thank you so much for your kind words about my bargain-tastic dress! :o) XXX

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  5. Thanks for posting this, Sam. My wedding was a very small affair on our deck. I wore a lovely, cream suit. My sister-in-law showed up in a strapless, full-skirted, gauzy mini-dress that made me feel like a frump. I know I didn't look like a frump... but I guess that being the bride can make you overly-sensitive. I think that wedding guests should be very mindful always of the feelings of the bride and groom... it's their day after all.
    P.S. That white dress looks wonderful on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch Susan!
      That must have hurt a little.... although I'm sure your demure suit looked elegant and beautiful, and the mini-dress got a few puzzled glances. Maybe there was some insecurity there? A small wedding is my kind of wedding! It sounds perfect. XXX

      Delete
  6. I once wore a dark cream trouser suit and matching hat to a friend s wedding assuming that the bride would wear a long white dress but....yes you ve guessed it she wore a dark cream trouser suit and a hat!!I was mortified and felt very uncomfortable all day especially as other guests seem to think it needed to be pointed out to me that I was dressed like the brides twin! My only defence is that cream trouser suits were in fashion that year and 6 other guests including the harpist were also wearing one.I now steer clear of ANY garment in plain cream ,ivory or white for a wedding but I do have to say that if the bride chooses to ignore convention and doesn't wear these colours it might be a good idea to let people know unless you don't mind.i actually got the impression that the bride didn't care what anyone else was wearing it was the guests that did!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh Kathy!
      I tried not to laugh but wow....that's a story and a half!!!
      Luckily, it sounds like the bride was very laid back and there were no tears or tantrums.
      At least you have a good tale to tell! :oP
      I remember the trouser suit trend.... I wore a rust one to a wedding once and loved it.
      It's a trend I'd like to see return.
      Thank you for sharing your story. XXX

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  7. Such a good question, Sam!! I personally wore red when I got married because, you know, it's me. I wore bright red with red/gold handpainted heels, and I told everyone they could wear whatever their hearts desired. In certain very conservative Asian weddings, however, even the brides don't wear all white because that's reserved for wakes/mourning. So you'll find brides wearing white gowns and completely dripping with gold jewellery to offset (and ward off) the (supposed) gloom and doom LOL I say know your bride (and bridal party) and dress accordingly, and have fun xo

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    1. I love this Sheela. Thank you for sharing.
      The thought of the red and gold shoes....wow!
      And, the white brides dripping in gold, how striking and beautiful!
      Perfect advice too...."Know your bride and have fun!" XXX

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  8. Great tips! I agree that it isnt nice to wear all white to a wedding and like your ideas on what to wear. That outfit looks so good on you! Love the ruffles and those lace up sandals are fab!
    Thanks for linking!
    jess xx
    www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

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  9. I just... it's the ONE rule, you know? That's it- no white to a wedding- it's always made whoever was wearing mostly white as a guest seem so insensitive and clueless to me. Respect to the couple getting married seems to trump however good I could feel in a white outfit to me.

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    1. I like the way you know exactly what you feel about this Lauren! So nothing white would catch your eye at all.... makes shopping much easier. Thank you for popping by and leaving a comment. XXX

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  10. I probably wouldn't wear white just because I don't often wear white unless we're talking about white jeans! The last wedding I went to there was a woman there wearing a skintight bright red shiny dress with all her cleavage hanging out for all to see! It was a little embarrassing - she was so over the top in every way possible - exactly how a wedding guest shouldn't be lol!
    I do love this dress on you - and those shoes are gorgeous!!
    Suzy xx
    www.suzyturner.com

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    1. Thank you Suzy!
      The red shiny cleavage dress sounds disrespectiful to say the least....more suited to a night out on the pull! ;oP
      XXX

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  11. well, you look gorgeous in your White dress, lovely with a touch of sassiness! very festive and sparkly, but elegant anyway!
    I wouldn't wear white to a wedding, because white is not a color that I consider flattering on me!. Anyway, I would wear a white based pattern or print, white pants or white accessories!. Obviously, if the wedding dress code is 'Ibiza Beach' then everybody would wear white!
    besos

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    1. Ibiza beach wedding?...now that would be a great excuse to wear white.... a bikini and kaftan! :o) XXX

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  12. Absolutely stunning in that outfit, there's nothing that should stop anyone from wearing white to a wedding, except if it is a themed one..then maybe

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    1. Thank you for popping over and letting me know your thoughts! XXX

      Delete
  13. I personally wouldn't wear white, but you look fab x

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  14. I probably wouldn't wear white to a wedding (unless the bride was wearing red, which is what I wanted to do!). Can I just say how positively HOT you look in this dress? Your styling is impeccable. That choker to match the dress trim is OMFG. xx

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