Especially if you have been doing the same job for a number of years, and are stuck in a workwear rut.
How can we inject some personality into our work outfits, without looking too "Wackadoodle"?
Or, (worse, in my opinion) too sexy?
Today I attempted to achieve the difficult balance between;
- Take me seriously, I am a professional.
- I am still a woman and wanted to be treated as one.
- I am an individual, with my own style!
I decided to wear this grey pencil skirt again, with a dark grey opaques, and my black chunky Mary Janes.
A little bit ugly, a little bit geeky....so obviously, I love them!
I slipped on a thermal base layer, then this grey poloneck (for warmth) before adding a pretty, silk, chiffon top.
The top is subtly colourful, adding texture, shape and interest to an otherwise boring look.
My green belt pulled everything together....and I could not resist a chunky necklace!
My grey bucket bag finished the look off, perfectly.
Sexy or not? That is the question!
As I was getting ready to take these shots, my husband commented,
"That's a bit sexy is it not?"I was genuinely confused.
To me this is not sexy look at all!
I argued my case
Lets think about this for a moment shall we....- I have NO bare flesh (at all) on display. Flesh=Sexy...doesn't it??
- I am wearing geeky Mary Jane shoes. Not a stiletto heel or low vamp in sight!
- Opaque tights leave everything to the imagination. Certainly not a sexy fishnet stocking.
- My wedge heels are ugly, clumpy and generally old-ladyish.
- I am wearing the dreaded poloneck (turtleneck) top. As a rule, men don't like polonecks on women (unless they are sleeveless) they confuse them!
- This outfit has a sombre colour palette. Grey...how un-sexy can you get? No racy reds or girly pinks in sight.
- I am wearing glasses. Glasses are not supposed to be sexy....are they?!
Or, so I thought.
I remembered a party I had gone to, years ago (in my 20's).
It had been a last minute thing and I had no time to go home and get changed.
So, my usual party dress/clubwear stayed in my wardrobe and I went out in my jeans (hipster bootcut...it was the 90's!), chunky boots, and a tight fitting Tee (again, 90's!).
No makeup and my long wavy hair in a high pony.
I was a fun party BUT, I had a lot of (unwanted) attention from men that night.
Much more than I had ever experienced "dressed up".
Looking back I think it was because I looked comfortable, friendly and approachable.
Does that mean I was more sexy that night?
I guess so!
I have to concede that my husband is right!
He will be the judge of what he finds sexy.
Sexiness is in the eye of the beholder... much like beauty.
One person's 'Sexy' is another's 'Cheap and Trashy'.
One woman's 'Conservative' is her husband's 'Slightly Racey'.
All of the so-called 'Rules' go out of the window!
This made me laugh.
So what is the answer?
How can we navigate this (difficult) territory, successfully?
Luckily the solution is simple...
To suit how you feel about yourself.
To suit how you feel about the occasion.
Don't try and second guess the thoughts (or reactions) of anyone else.
You will fail.
Don't try to please anyone else.
You will fail that too.
Be true to yourself and you will always feel good.
If you feel good then you look good, and that is a rule that always applies!
Have you ever been confused as someone's reaction to an outfit you were wearing?
What item of clothing makes you feel your best?
Please let me know in the comments, or tweet me @samantha4blair.
I love hearing from you!
Bag: Dune (similar)
Tights: Levante
Skirt: Forver21
Top: Unknown (A charity shop find)...this is a pretty plain one.
Poloneck: Topshop
Belt: Tkmaxx (this one is lovely)
Necklace: M&S (this one is nice)
Shoes: Clarks Originals (these are lovely)
"See, none of this is sexy at all!!" I argued
"I'll be the judge of that" he said.
This got me thinking...
How do we really know how other people perceive our outfits?I remembered a party I had gone to, years ago (in my 20's).
It had been a last minute thing and I had no time to go home and get changed.
So, my usual party dress/clubwear stayed in my wardrobe and I went out in my jeans (hipster bootcut...it was the 90's!), chunky boots, and a tight fitting Tee (again, 90's!).
No makeup and my long wavy hair in a high pony.
I was a fun party BUT, I had a lot of (unwanted) attention from men that night.
Much more than I had ever experienced "dressed up".
Looking back I think it was because I looked comfortable, friendly and approachable.
Does that mean I was more sexy that night?
I guess so!
Beauty (and sexiness) is in the eye of the beholder.
I have to concede that my husband is right!
He will be the judge of what he finds sexy.
Sexiness is in the eye of the beholder... much like beauty.
One person's 'Sexy' is another's 'Cheap and Trashy'.
One woman's 'Conservative' is her husband's 'Slightly Racey'.
All of the so-called 'Rules' go out of the window!
This made me laugh.
So what is the answer?
How can we navigate this (difficult) territory, successfully?
Luckily the solution is simple...
Dress to suit yourself.
To suit your mood on that particular day.To suit how you feel about yourself.
To suit how you feel about the occasion.
Don't try and second guess the thoughts (or reactions) of anyone else.
You will fail.
Don't try to please anyone else.
You will fail that too.
Be true to yourself and you will always feel good.
If you feel good then you look good, and that is a rule that always applies!
Have you ever been confused as someone's reaction to an outfit you were wearing?
What item of clothing makes you feel your best?
Please let me know in the comments, or tweet me @samantha4blair.
I love hearing from you!
Bag: Dune (similar)
Tights: Levante
Skirt: Forver21
Top: Unknown (A charity shop find)...this is a pretty plain one.
Poloneck: Topshop
Belt: Tkmaxx (this one is lovely)
Necklace: M&S (this one is nice)
Shoes: Clarks Originals (these are lovely)
Get the look:
But then again, is sexy bad? Of course you look sexy because of your strut and confidence, but you certainly don't look inappropriate (for all of the reasons you listed)!
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes sexy can just mean looking good! (which you always seem to do)
So, sexy lady----you are rocking again! jodie
www.jtouchofstyle.com
You are right Jodie! Sexy is not a bad thing...and we are still allowed to be sexy over 40 (or 50) aren't we? Of course we are! Thank you so much for your comment. XXX
DeletePersonally I'm a huge fan of sexy, but you are right it is entirely subjective as to what defines sexy.
ReplyDeleteAlso as Jodie wrote sexy is actually a state of mind. It is how you feel about yourself reflected outwardly.
Dressing to make yourself happy as you noted is the best way to ensure you feel good about yourself.
I would have loved to have seen a photo of you at that party : )
I adore those Mary Janes and have some almost the same that I wear all the time.
bisous
Suzanne
Suzanne, you are the queen of sexy without looking trashy! And, you are right...there is nothing wrong with it. I was just surprised by my husband's reaction. How does that phrase go..."To see ourselves as others see us"...or something. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder (and thank goodness for that!). XXX
DeleteI give your husband rights, you are sexy in tight skirt. For me, is a tight skirt with slit sexy, i like
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Max! You are very kind. XXX
DeleteIt's funny you said that, Samantha, that you looked more approachable with jeans and tee. Many years ago, my BFF and I went to a club together. We were both single at the time, and after she got hit on repeatedly (and I wasn't, not even once), I told her I was just going to call it a night and go home. The (very obviously gay) guy beside us heard me, turned and said, "Honey, you're not going to get anyone tonight because you look cold and you've got that bitch face going on." I almost slapped him. Then I burst out laughing because I understood what he was trying to say.
ReplyDeleteMen really appreciate women who look approachable and friendly, they find it exceedingly sexy. Quite the turn-on because, like us, they too fear rejection :) so yes, I can completely see why you had loads of attention that night. And why your outfit here is indeed sexy, my friend. You might not have a skin parade going on but your figure is very flatteringly showcased in that skirt. Very nice!!!
Hahahaha...this made me laugh Sheela! Yes, I know that "Bitch face" look well....cold and unapproachable. You are spot on with your description and spot on for your reasoning. We all fear rejection whether it be from a prospective mate, a prospective employer or a potential friend. Rejection is hard to take. Being nice is a much better option....although that "bitch face" does have its uses from time to time! XXX
DeleteYes, it does!!! Although there have been occasions wherein it's the very nature of the bitch face which turns the man on. Sigh. I'll never understand how they function xoxo
DeleteI don't know if you look sexy, but you look cool and gorgeous for sure, with lots of sassiness and style! Love how you rock grey shades, love that poloneck under chiffon layering, and love your accessorizing. And obviously, love your geeky shoes, they're my cup of tea totally!
ReplyDeletebesos
Thank you so much Monica....we love our Geeky shoes, don't we?! XXX
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this post!
ReplyDeleteI think it's quite awww-inducing that your husband thinks this outfit is sexy, and I can't say he's wrong. Sure, you might not be showing much skin at all, but isn't it always the women who are confident in their own skin who are sexy and beautiful and gorgeous and all of those good things?
But then again to be honest I do take into consideration what clothes these women have on as well, and when they wear the right kind of clothes that are flattering and interesting, it's definitely contributing to their level of sexiness (well, it does kind of have its levels!).
And well, you're obviously in the group of women who are doing it right, Samantha, I must say!
xoLiyana | Affordorable
Liyana, you are a sweetheart! Thank you so much for this lovely comment. You are right, flattering and interesting clothes are much more attractive than inches of flesh....you are testament to that fact! XXX
DeleteThanks for linking up to Top of the World Style. I like your outfit. I don't think it is too sexy. It probably would if you had added pantyhose and 3 inch heel pumps.
ReplyDeleteI agree Nicole, thank you. X
DeleteThis look says classy to me, not sexy. A tight fitting skirt can be either smart or sexy but you've chosen not to sex this up by keeping everything else covered up. Tight skirt, lots of cleavage and bare legs would have told quite a different story. I love the grey and yellow together, it's one of my favourite combinations.
ReplyDeleteAnna x
Anna's Island Style
Thank you Anna. I love yellow too...although it does not love my blue legs very much! I am going to try and wear more of it this summer. XXX
DeleteSam
ReplyDeleteI think a smile is sexy! So, what can you do ... hehe. See you cant help it.I love the combo of yellow and grey, funny as I am out to pick up a new shower curtain in a yellow and grey print. I love it.Also, comfidence is sexy IMO and you have that, as you should my friend. A lovely outfit for a lovely lady!
Thanks for linking up with Turning Heads Tuesday!
jess xx
www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Thank you so much Jess! Yellow and grey is a great combination. XXX
Delete